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Wednesday, May 9th, 2012
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8:42 pm - I'm still here... just lurky and busy (updates abound!)
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I’ve moved apartments (landlords decided to sell)! Only the fourth move in my life… but a total upgrade this time (thank goodness, cause some of the apartments I went to see were pretty awful). I love my new apartment – excellent location (slightly further from the c-train, but closer to everything good in my life, ie my favourite sushi restaurant, the local yarn shop, the farmer’s market), it’s the 7th floor and a corner apartment, so the view is excellent (no more 3.5 floor walk-up), I have in suite laundry, granite countertops, so much cupboard space! Huge mirrored closets! And the building does proper recycling!!! I feel like a grown up!
And I noticed my new place is two blocks from a yoga studio, so I decided to give it a try... Doing the 1 month unlimited new members pass and I’ve been three times this week – definitely as much of a workout as pilates (I would not call the beginner class a true beginner class – workshop of downward dog means ow shoulders ow).
And in the middle of my move, my main laptop died. Called dell cause I was still under warranty and after an hour they agreed to send me new parts… after they were installed by their tech it turns out they weren’t the problem and I have to wipe and reinstall the hard drive (but the OS disc I have did not work)… thankfully I had backed up everything two weeks before so I didn’t lose too much… But I basically decided to say screw it, time for a new computer now instead of waiting until September! When I get the old computer seen to by my parents’ tech guy, I will use it for “fun” and this new computer (asus zenbook) will be for work only… On the plus side, this means I have now organized everything on my three external hard drives by content rather than by date (3 days of work)… I named my new computer enterprise, cause it is really shiny like that... time to retire the name Simon Tam (this one would have been mark 3).
Saw Avengers and need to see it again. So much fun! I love them all! I didn’t quite expect to find myself so turned on by all the glorious fighting and destruction. I may have a little capsicle problem, in that I find him too attractive for my own good (although I don’t know if I ever mentioned that I found pre-serum cap to equally as attractive if not more so than uber-muscles in Captain America… cause I do). And Tony doing science things will never not be hot. I cannot wait for Hiddleston’s BBC Shakespeare history cycle to air! I am so looking forward to his Prince Hal. Although I found it quite interesting that I could hear the Joss in a lot of the phrasing – it was weird hearing a paraphrase of something Mal said come out of Cap’s mouth… I may also be working on an acoustic cover (a la buffy st marie’s the universal soldier) of star spangled man, as mentioned in samstoryteller’s latest fic. I also need to pick up some lighter blue fabric paint so I can paint the arc reactor glow into a couple of t-shirts.
Also also, the Julie Taymor/Helen Mirren the Tempest may be my favourite film adaptation of a Shakespeare play. So beautiful. And DAMN Helen Mirren is a goddess. And I want all the costumes.
Still knitting up a storm – 3 sweaters on the needles, 2 shawls and 1 sock…
And I really have to make some PhD progress soon… standard methodology not really working for my samples, so I’m reading my giant starch chemistry and technology textbook of amazing - hoping to find something I can use.
*hugs*
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| Monday, September 26th, 2011
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6:11 pm - Condrogilizations Sean Maher!
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| Friday, September 9th, 2011
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9:46 pm - career tests are funny
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So, I took one? The strong index. My top two professions that i would like doing - Biologist and University Professor.
*cue laughter*
(also, I am artistic/investigative on the holland hexagon thing - confirming what I already know, but i think the key to my happiness is finding a way to balance the two, because really, for a while there all i was doing was investigative and it was sapping my energy, but now i am pretty much only doing artistic and I'm getting ansty)
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| Wednesday, August 10th, 2011
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11:11 am - wow, i actually feel like blogging. weird.
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So yeah... update on the me.
still struggling with work - have gone in for career counseling, hoping that will shake something loose. Need to take a bunch of personality etc. tests online... maybe this afternoon/evening? Depends if I end up going to stained glass (almost done cutting! But then copper foiling 100 some odd pieces... so not near done yet, but the process is the thing)
real strawberries from the farmers market are awesome. also, the mead booth. tastes like liquid sunshine.
i have my viola from storage, wow, I am... not good. So out of practice... but guitar is picking up after I was plateauing for a bit. My songs I have written set is getting longer.
i am probably spinning toooo much. But I am still in the shiny new stage of omg, I am making yarn, yay! It's totally taken over the knitting time. And I have acquired a fiber stash, that should probably last 6 months or so. It's so soothing, almost meditative.
watching second season of dollhouse, finally. It got really interesting.
Haven is so delightful. Fuck yeah, audrey parker.
Behind on True Blood and Pretty Little Liars.
My kareoke song list that confused the lady running the evening - crucify (tori amos), #1 crush (garbage), science fiction double feature (rocky horror) and cabaret (cabaret). So much fun.
I am pretty sure this what not what I set out to post... but I forget what clever little thought I wanted to share. Oooops?
Ages ago I meant to make a post on how I realized I had grown up as I finally forgave Jo for refusing Laurie, and understood what she saw in frederik (brought to you by a rewatch of the 1992 little women).
Anyways, let's see if I start blogging again... So often I feel like I have nothing to say.
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| Monday, June 27th, 2011
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7:43 am - Very nice rejection email...
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No rocky for me, at least not as cast. I will live, and hopefully help with the production in other ways... I'm not going to lie and say I'm not a bit disappointed, but considering it was my first audition for anything in 10 years I can be proud for putting myself out there. Thanks for all your advice and suggestions <3
Also, my guitar came back from the shop (considering it hadn't had a set up since, um, ever and I bought it ten years ago) and it sounds so much more vibrant, it's almost like a new guitar (but it's still my baby). And even though having it gone for 12 days means that my calluses diminished a bit (can only play for half and hour without pain) and it feels different so it will take a bit of getting used to, I can definitely bar chord F more easily (Bm is still a pain in my ass, so practice, practice, practice). Open mic night, here I come? (once I get used to the new action and stop making quite so many mistakes, yes!)
Otherwise, just cast on for rock island by brooklyntweed, and have nearly finished my yearly west wing rewatch (yesterday I was so mentally fried, it was all I could do).
I also went to see Jane Eyre at the review theatre (one of three people in the audience) and oh, the cinematography and lighting. *sigh* I imprinted fairly hard on Jane Eyre in grade 5, and this was a film of it I didn't hate, so yay! I need to get my hands on the recent miniseries.
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| Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011
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10:03 pm - rocky audition (the wait begins...)
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So, I had my audition tonight. I don't really know how it went, but I had fun. I did end up going with Lady M cause it was the most comfortable, and cause I said I wasn't off book for my comedic monologue (which, sad, because it was one of the most fun monologues ever - Marvel Ann from Psycho Beach Party the play (it was mostly cut in the movie)) they had me do Lady M valley girl style. I made them laugh, which can't be a bad thing, right? Lots of hair twirling, and vacant expressions. The song, I feel wasn't so hot, but I gave it my all (and they congratulated me on actually choosing a rock musical song, as suggested), I think I cracked on a few notes. The dancing was fun - to the time warp. This may inspire me to take up dance again, I miss it. So yes, I just rocked out to the time warp and had fun, which is what an audition should be.
But, I did get a call that they don't need me back to see more on Sunday... and I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing? It could go either way. Cause I made sure on the phone to iterate that I'm a huge rocky fan and I would happily volunteer to do anything for the show, and the stage manager said she'd keep that in mind, that she could use me if I wasn't part of the cast, but she didn't know yet. I guess it depends on who auditions in the next two days... (I went for the first group).
So now I have to distract myself until Sunday night, when I get the yes/no call... And whatever it is, it's ok, cause hell, I auditioned. So go me;).
Help? But I do have lots planned for Thurs/Friday... Need to figure out Saturday/Sunday...
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| Tuesday, June 14th, 2011
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6:45 pm - rocky horror audition!
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(omg, I had no computer for 3 days - virus. fixed now. but ugh. so behind/misses stuff. I did not like not having my lifeline)
So one of the local community theatres is putting on Rocky Horror! And auditions were just posted. You can better believe I am auditioning (june 22). Though I am terrified, and totally not expecting anything (if I don't get to be in the show, I will totally volunteer to usher/be an audience call-back plant).
So, any audition advice? They are asking for a comedic and a dramatic monologue (I should probably just google?) no more than 2 minutes. I was thinking the "gang-bang" speech from psycho beach party (or one of chicklet's anne bowman bits) for comedic but I have no clue for dramatic? I do have lady m's out damn spot (without the interjections) on tap, but maybe shakespeare is not the thing?
And then we need a song, from a rock musical. Rocky is accepted, so I might just do science fiction double feature, but I am also thinking about out tonight from rent? (could because daphne r-v played magenta in the broadway rocky horror revival) other suggestions? I do not have a super voice, it's kind of wispy high or little girl-ish?
So yes, any advice and/or encouragement would be welcome:)
Other than this, life continues apace. <3
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| Friday, May 13th, 2011
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9:47 pm - hesher (attention jgl fans!)
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So, um... not really feeling posty lately... not much to report? playing a lot of guitar. waiting for my better microphone to arrive... wasn't sleeping after returning to Calgary, which meant I was feeling cranky and lame...
But I did want to pimp for a second cause I haven't seen people be posty about this on the flist, but joseph gordon-levitt's new indie flick comes out today (http://hesherthemovie.com/trailer.php) and I have yet to be disappointed by anything I've seen him in - he picks interesting projects and this looks to be no different. If it was playing in Calgary I'd be there in an instant... so in the hopes of wider release, please go and tell me how awesome it is?
To add to the coolness, spencer susser (the writer/director) released (with producer permission) a couple of clips to hitRECord with permission to play with them (hesher jumping through the fire) - which I think is a very, very cool thing and worth supporting in whatever way I can (although I cannot video edit).
So hesher, looks [expletive deleted] awesome:)
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| Thursday, March 31st, 2011
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1:49 am - I read things aloud.
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I read thing out loud, and love it:) Thank you so much to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2) celli for being encouraging, and for writing words that were treat to read. So very few times where I tripped over words and had to edit, which is pretty amazing. Since recording this one, I've learned a bunch... including that I think I am probably going to do more.
http://community.livejournal.com/podslash/386275.html
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| Monday, March 7th, 2011
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9:08 pm - But you can aet it!
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*dies of laughter* Ok, so how did I miss this? People in Merlin fandom, I'm looking at you ;) I don't know why this makes me so happy, but it does.
Colin Morgan on the Catherine Tate Show. "Our John is a gay man now!" Probably NSFW;)
Also, have I shared my love of Garfunkel and Oats here yet? Also likely NSFW...
It was so hard to pick just one. Gay boyfriend is another fave. So it worst song medley, mostly cause it is the song list of my high school years.
Happy Monday guys!
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| Monday, February 28th, 2011
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10:25 pm - So, imaginary men redux
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I finally saw the Social Network (which I totally enjoyed despite it making me sad, mainly cause geeks are my people and I was actually visiting a friend at Harvard around that time (though had no idea that thefacebook existed) which was extra cool) BUT Andrew Garfield looks very, very much like my grade 9/10 crush (which was a mistake cause he was a jerk, but that's neither here nor there). So very disconcerting, I kept double-taking and not being able to focus. But it also leaves me wondering why my past crushes (or at least their doppelgangers) are suddenly making reappearances in the most bizarre ways.
Also, I have just finished the toe on my very first (toe-up) sock. Noro kureyon sock stripes (using left over clapotis yarn) for as long as I can...
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| Saturday, February 19th, 2011
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2:53 pm - Phil Ochs documentary
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| Sunday, January 30th, 2011
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5:29 pm - Israel Photos
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So, I went on Birthright last June, first trip to Israel and I loved it there very much (I plan to try to get a postdoc there when the time comes). I've now been on both sides of the African Rift Valley!
I just got an email for a photo contest from Birthright ("Me, myself and Israel") and you can submit up to two photos (by Feb 14th)... Now, on this trip I tried to take interesting, artsy photos... some of which even turned out! so I've narrowed it down to the ones I think are most interesting (none of me, however) and I'd love it if you guys would be willing to help me narrow it down further. I am worried that while some of them are cool, they don't represent "Israel" enough (I wish the contest had more details) Please?!? Something I may try to work on this year is taking photographs - I need to learn more about it so that I can get good microscope photos for my work anyways.
So I've uploaded the photos here (and a few bonus ones that crack me up): http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v228/NSPsAbroad/israel%20is%20real/
And if you'd take a look and tell me which two you think are the best, that would be really wonderful. They need titles too, so if you are inspired in that direction, I would love that too... If you have questions about what's going on in any of the photos, ask away!
Thanks guys!
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| Thursday, January 27th, 2011
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3:12 pm - Zomg!
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Holy productive batman. I'm actually responding to comments/leaving posts. Who is this girl?!?! I don't know if it will last (and please don't be offended if it doesn't) as it seams that just responding right away without overthinking and not letting it pile up is the ticket and who knows how long I can keep that up, but for now, omg, it feels good!
Guys! I love you guys!
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11:18 am - So, um, hi!
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When we last left our intrepid grad student and knitter, she had just finished medical leave and was going to try again. Unfortunately, she made the mistake of thinking that everything was going to be fine and that she now could be the Best Grad Student Ever and do everything perfectly to prove that she belonged in grad school after what she considered to be a major screw up... which lasted all of a month before she collapsed into an anxiety ridden pit of despair and almost quit twice she was so miserable and unable to do the work, again... after plan A over the winter break failed, she is now back on medleave, attempting to rebuild a life of some kind... thankfully she has the complete and total support of her new supervisor and she will now stop talking about herself in the third person.
So, hi guys! I miss interacting with you (though I totally always read my flist even if anxiety prevents me from commenting mostly) so I'm going to try. My new therapist (I'm going the cognitive behavioural route this time - the person at the university I was seeing last semester didn't really work) and one of my assignments is to rebuild connections and reclaim my support network. So, hi again! I don't know how successful I'm going to be at that, but I'm going to try, gosh darn it.
Actually, it's kind of amazing, since coming back to Calgary (and being sick in bed for the first week, stupid sore throat, and rewatching buffy s2&3) I am actually being productive and living like a real person - cooking, leaving my apartment, going to pilates twice a week, crossing things off my to do list (I've done most in the past 10 days than I had in the past 2 months). I like this person, and I hope I get to keep her as I attempt to reintegrate doing grad school work... But one step at a time.
So, squee... I finally saw inception and it's kindled a jgl, how are you so awesome fest. I know, I have a thing for wastecoats, competence and snark. I am kind of madly in flail over him right now. Seriously, how is he real? I mean, watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6zMwGkY7z4
(his cover of bad romance - the french bit, Mmmmmm je veux te baiser indeed)
http://hitrecordjoe.tumblr.com/post/2309120828/hitrecorder-njtam-created-a-beautifully-fitting (a song he wrote)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKtgiwOBWmM
(make 'em laugh on SNL)
I also watched Bottle Shock for Capt'n fine. OMG, bad 70s hair and belly shirts. There is no bad there. His voice, just, does something to me. He is sooo pretty and eloquent, I can't even. I can't wait for the next trek.
In terms of tv, I'm really only caught up with modern family (how much do I love Mitchel and his neuroses? you have no idea), pretty little liars (it's awesome, I promise) and castle (yaythan!). I look forward to more sherlock and downton abbey and the return of doctor who (I love 11 so much)... But you know what I miss on my tv, Brian Fuller shows. I did a pushing daisies rewatch to cheer me up when I was super down last month, and man, I want it back now. There should be comics soonish, I think...
I am also knitting a lot. I'm sleeves away from a new sweater. I did some awesome boxing day yarn shopping, and wound up with some bfl from fleece artist and it's some of the most delightful wool I have ever knit with. Cushy and soft and it smells sheepy and it just feels so good as one knits. I love yarn. Speaking of, if people want to see what I have been knitting from the delicious yarn ends from the farm, I've uploaded some pics here: http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v228/NSPsAbroad/knitting/yarn%20from%20the%20farm/ Just as a warning, I may talk about knitting a lot more.
So, um, yeah, that's me right now... I wrote a post! Yay! Tiny, tiny steps forward. *hugs*
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| Thursday, April 29th, 2010
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12:07 pm - Meta and navel gazing
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Thank you all for the kind comments on my last post. Y'all are amazing and I'm so lucky to have you as friends.
So, I’m slowly picking up the pieces. I did a what not to wear style go through of my overflowing closet and got rid of a lot of high school clothes (scarily, I can pretty much tell you where everything in my closet was bough as well as special occasions I wore them to), I’m knitting like a fiend (some of the things I have made over the past year), I have an apartment for next year, I went and had coffee with my master’s supervisor and got a lot of good perspective and advice, I’m back to pilates, I’m going to Israel on Birthright in June and I just finished a West Wing watch through. I’m relearning how to take care of myself. I’m making changes, of the good kind, and I’m starting to feel better. I still have some wacky reactions to things, and get tired way too easily. Also changing weather pressure systems are wreaking havoc with my system.
I’m trying to avoid being over-thinky as that can lead to feeling depressed, but I think this post has been brewing for a while now, and there are some things I want to try and articulate.
( I’m just a girl, living in captivity or why genderfuck is hitting my buttons )
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| Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009
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9:44 pm - So... been a while...
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Hi all. I'm sorry I haven't been around. I...
I have had probably the worst semester of school of my life. I almost quit, I've been so vastly unhappy. I've had a complete collapse of confidence (aided and abetted by my bully of an ex-supervisor *cough*master*cough* (he doesn't want a grad student, he wants a slave)) barely able to drag myself out of bed for the last month and have been "diagnosed" with depression and have just started meds (Ciprolex, an SSRI). I didn't finish any of my coursework this semester and am considering medical leave. The nice part is I have a lot of support at the department, both from professors and fellow grad students, though I'm dealing with feelings of not being deserving of any of it (but enough of that).
I've had next to no energy for anything. And I have a lot of guilt for disappearing and not being a good friend. And a lot of guilt about not being good enough/working hard enough. So I've been lurking, cause my neroses scream that I should be working since I have (had?) so much on my plate. Though compared to a lot of you, I know what I'm dealing with is a drop in the bucket and I haven't wanted to whinge. *hugs*
Thank you llaras for the snowflake cookie. Totally made me tear up. *hugs*
I've totally been playing the avoidance game. The few things that are making me happy (my escapes, as it were) are knitting (You don't have to think, and it shows evidence of time put in! finished my first sweater! made some hats! Working on another sweater and a clapotis out of noro sock (alternating colours every four rows)! have a list of projects as long as my arm to work on) and Adam Lambert (his album, you guys! it makes me so happy. as does his I am who I am (and that is fabulous) attitude. I miss getting dressed up. I'm starting to fix that. I have glitter and am working on my strut.).
I also can't seem to watch shows I am in any way invested in (see: no energy). I have not seen this season of Supernatural, Dollhouse, Friday Night Lights or Merlin. However, I am loving The Good Wife (Kalinda is so amazing) and Castle (Yaythan!) and am enjoying Glee enough to watch it (the music! Kurt! the students (I need more of them, especially the ones that have the least screen time - the party line call, I want more of that). but I pretty much hate the adults and a good number of the storylines. I think Ryan Murphy did it (and by it I mean high school) better on Popular).
So that's what I've been up to/where I am right now. I don't know what this space will be. I don't know how much energy I'm going to continue to not have. I don't know how I am going to balance everything out. But know I miss you, and I love you, and I miss being creative and sharing this amazing and crazy thing called fandom (and through that, our lives) with you. You all are amazing, and I look forward to rejoining you one of these days. I'll try to keep you posted more often/post replies/answer comments. And I'll probably fail a bunch. And I'll try to be ok with failing. I hope you can be ok with that too.
*hugs*
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| Sunday, May 24th, 2009
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4:43 pm - Fieldwork!
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Hi all! *waves*
I had an increadibly stressful and overwhelmingly busy second semester. Sorry for dropping back into lurker-dom again. I really miss you guys!
But things are going very well, mostly, or at least I have conquered many things, like not getting my passport back from the embassy until the friday before my sunday flight (i thought for a while I was going to have to rearrange everything) and now, I am in Mozambique! Maputo to be specific, before we head off to the field (a small village) in a few days (there are things to do at the university here first).
I'll have very sporadic internet access for the next two months if at all, and won't get to watch many season finales until I get home at the end of July (the 31st!) - I'll be in Toronto until at least the 23 of August. I don't know how much catch up will happen, but if you want to link me to anything important that I miss, I'd be grateful... I just checked the American Idol results and am less than pleased (I loved Adam from his first audition - like that surprises anyone who knows me. heee).
Anyways have a stellar summer all, and I'll see you on the flipside.
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| Friday, February 27th, 2009
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7:25 pm - Ummm...
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Hi. *waves very sheepishly*
Thank you so much to everyone who commented about my grandfather. It means a lot and I am so very sorry I have not yet replied to you each individually (nor as a group until now). *hugs everyone tight* You all are amazing, and I'm so glad to know all of you.
It's been... interesting since then. Catching up last semester happened, and I survived, but it was a challenge. Then I went home and collapsed for a couple of weeks over winter break(well, a week to write papers, a week to visit with family and friends (sf made me watch merlin and it's adorable), and then a week to try to cram in all of the things I hadn't done yet).
And now, I can't believe I'm about half way through second semester. I've been behind since about week 2. Wheeee. But things are going very well, school-wise, my supervisor and I are getting along, I am loving being in the lab, I think this summer is likely a go, and my cohort has really jelled (beer and archaeology talk at the pub at least twice a week) -- it's the intellectual university experience I've always wanted. As long as I can get everything done this semester I need to (you've been around when I've bitched about essays and my slooooowwwww process in the past, I'm sure).
So with always being behind, I am an awful friend to you all, and I'm sorry. I wind up reading in fits and spurts while I should be doing other things, so I don't comment cause I'm not suposed to be on LJ and then feel bad, even though I do often read the flist and want to spread hugs and love. So I'm sorry for that.
I'm really not sure what this space is going to be in the next little while - if I will return to radio silence, try to feel less guilty and comment more, or do small random updates of amusement.
Like how today my collegue tim has become dead to me because he hates (and he called "hate" not strong enough to describe his loathing) moxy fruvous (he considers them "worse" than the backstreet boys).I can't understand. This just does not compute.
Or how I caught up on Supernatural over Feb break (which I spent feeling gross and in bed and also sleeping for the whole week instead of getting on top of things) and fell in love all over again and spent far too much time watching interview clips on youtube. The accents! Boys! Though also, I feel awkward shame and embarassment far too often listening to con Q&As. I am clearly ridiculous.
Dollhouse... ummm... I want to like it. And will give it some more time.
I'm about 3/4ths finished two sweaters. The knitting bug is still going strong.
And now it is almost time for BSG.
If there's anything all you are wondering, feel free to ask. And lately, I tend to be better via email. stellargal at hotmail.
*loves you all*
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| Sunday, October 5th, 2008
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7:11 pm - I really don't know what to title this...
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I am unexpectedly back in Toronto as my grandfather died yesterday evening. The funeral is tomorrow and we will be siting shiva all week, except for Yom Kippur. He was 90, and he was doing very well, so while it shouldn't seem sudden it is (he just collapsed, and 6 hrs later he was gone). The entire family was together today, and everyone is pretty much a wreck. Grandpa was a big part of all of our lives. It's very surreal.
The grandchildren put together out thoughts for the service tomorrow, and I'd kind of like to share them (and him) with you.
( my grandfather )
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